Saturday, September 27, 2014


The ability to refresh yourself, whether it comes with sleep, food, contemplation or play, lies in importance at the same level as the need for stimulation, activity, achievement or challenge.

When we cook meat, we know to let it rest for five or so minutes before we cut into it, thus allowing the flavor and liquids to resettle themselves among the tissues.  The flavor doesn't drip onto the cutting board and we are allowed to savor it, deeply enjoying
So remember to let the juices of the day...resettle and find their right places within you.

David Whyte has said "To rest is to become present in a different way than through action, and especially to give up on the will as the prime motivator of endeavor, with its endless outward need to reward itself through established goals."   Isn't that lovely?  Allowing something other than achievement to be the carrot and the stick that moves us along.  I remember someone telling me once about an artist that had applied for a sabbatical saying that what he wanted to do with his time was "to indulge in creative indolence...."   and he got the grant!

I love looking up words and seeing the broad and archaic definitions.  It is a way to deepen our understanding of our language.  You can see on the left that the word Restoration includes the idea of "giving back".                                                                                                                                                        So here is an idea.  To fill yourself up, give something away.   
                                                                        Here is a prayer for you: 
 Let me be someone's blessing today.
              Let me be someone's blessing today.

  Let me be someone's blessing today.

                                       Thank you!

 We need to remember to occasionally remove all the STUFF, the stimulation, clutter, lists, agendas, activities, behaviors, still, watch or close your eyes, but think about LESS than you were thinking about 5 minutes ago.  Find SILENCE.

                                                                   Find SAFETY.

                                              Feed your little hearts and then sleep!

Blessings to you all on this last Sunday in September, hugs, 
B. Misty  27 -September-14

Saturday, September 20, 2014


                                                                                             photo by Robert Warren
                            Riding the Loop

               Does the glass
       Know the heat of the oven?

               Does the rain
       Miss the elusive cloud?

               Does a frog look at fish     
       And feel a kinship?

               Do we all long for early places
       Where life was in another form?

               Or is it just the humans,
Watching the sea that know belonging?

                            Blessings,  B. Misty Wycoff
                                                 September 20th, 2014

Friday, September 12, 2014


A friend recently sent me a link to an article from the New York Times.  It was an interesting piece on diversity.  It was more specifically about how colleges could do more to create and encourages dialogs about diversity.  I have included the link for those that might want to read the whole piece.  It is  certainly worth your time.

The article points out that colleges encourage people to find their own seeking like:   botanists finding other botanists, engineers finding other engineers, republicans....republicans, dog lovers, etc.

It is certainly understandable that we enjoy people with similar interests, points of view, lifestyles.  But the article makes the point that it doesn't exactly open our minds to other viewpoints, encourage diversity within our own circles, or ways of thinking.  In my last blog I was talking about how we seem to have lost the ability or interest in dialoging with anyone with a differing point of view.  Instead the trend seems to be to just try and make anyone who doesn't agree with us look stupid, or just wrong.

Although I promise that this is not becoming the central theme of these blog pieces, I did think we might just go one step further in this particular exploration.  Let's do a bit a self examination here.  I spoke last time about the idea that if we are not part of the solution, we are part of the problem, a cultural construct from the 60's counter culture.  The question now is how often do we allow ourselves to even entertain another perspective.  And if we do, how do we respond to it, and further how often do we engage in dialogs in these areas?  

The New York Times article encourages the practice of students deleting 4 of their current bookmarks and adding 4 from other viewpoints and perspectives.   Would you consider this?  Why?  Why not?   I am not suggesting that you make yourself miserable with engaging for long periods with people or groups that make you sad or scare you, but this is really an exercise in listening...This may seem to be mostly about politics, but this idea has relevance in relationships as well.

How often do we really LISTEN to our families, spouses, children, parents when their views are diametrically opposed to our own.  Can you listen?  Can you sit for a moment in their shoes?  Can you engage the problem that they are stating from their perspective and seek solutions relative to their needs?

Check yourself:

How often do you LISTEN to any views besides one's that reflect your own opinions?

What happens to your voice, your words, your emotions when you do?

If world cultures settle disputes the way that we do personally, would there be a world full of war or peace?   

It is time in our culture to really look at our own behavior in this area.  Again, another quote from the 60's:  "Be the change you want in the world".  In your relationships, as in community, political, religious or social areas, can you really SEE the other person's perspective and can you honor it, respect it and find a way to live  so that each of you can feel good.  

I have talked before about WIN WIN situations.   Take this as a reminder to look for more of those in your life.  Move beyond the duality of right/wrong good/bad and find the THIRD ANSWER.  Think about what that might mean...


A world of blessings to your hearts.  Misty,  9/12/14

Friday, September 5, 2014


A week or so ago, someone posted on Facebook a picture of our current president.  It was taken when he was in college.  I have include the photo below.  The words written upon the face of it went something like this:    “Everytime I look at this picture I cannot believe this piece of crap became our president”    I looked at the shot and what I saw was a college student dressed  in jeans and a sweater, sitting on a couch with another person relaxing.   

I was perplexed by this statement .  the whole situation kept coming back into my head as I went on with my week.  I have noticed this trend of taking aim at your political opponents by smearing and attempting to slander them, spread lies about them, imply things about them and generally be mean and hateful towards them. 

The fact that this photo comment survived and was reposted by other people was disturbing to me.  In the 60’s when I was in college there was an expression that went like this:

“If you are not part of the solution, then you are part of the problem”.

It is against the law to have an accident and leave the scene.  We call that a "Hit and Run".  The law requires us to take responsibility for how we interact in our cars.  There are laws against hate crimes.  These laws  reflect our national ethics.  We, at least legally,  chose to not be terrorists, blind haters  or people who act out physically against other human beings.

I wonder how all of this verbal nastiness has snuck by the censors.  Is it not cowardly to try to shame, embarrass, demean our public figures.  What happened to being part of the solution?  

It seems to me that our country was set up so that we could participate in the governing.  We have the right to run against our political opponents, to talk about issues and educate people who disagree with us to and to try and open the views of our opponent to another perspective.  Sometimes we are successful and sometimes we are not.  Have we turned into a nation of poor losers.  If we don't get our way, do we not only take the ball home, but try and burn down the stadium?

This essay is not about my political views.  I am sure we can look at each past president for the past 50 years and point to  strong and weaker skill sets within each term of office.  But does disagreeing with someone, or in fact losing the election to the “other guy” really mean that we should spend the entire term of office attacking, slandering and undermining what they are doing.

What if we each took our own inventory……(not a bad thing to do regularly) and ask ourselves these questions:

How have I been part of the problem that I am so mad about?

What can I do to become part of the solution to this issue?

How can I enter into a dialog about values and goals that might  help find a compromise that will work for all of us?

Have we become a nation that is all about winning….at any cost?  How is this back stabbing, hateful verbage any less damaging that hate crimes.  It comes from ignorance, laziness of our mental capacity, and the anonymity provided by the internet.  I believe we can do better and I encourage to think about how YOU might do better.  

We are all blessed with such riches of experience, wealth and tribal lore and knowledge.  If we dip our brushes in the pots of creativity and generosity we have the ability to solve the problems in the world, feed the people, care for the planet, and remind ourselves and others that we can do all we do with gentleness and dignity.

Blessings to you all.  Los Osos September 5, 2014