Sunday, November 30, 2014


Someone warned me years ago to never trust someone who says "TRUST ME".  The theory along the lines of someone protesting too much.  But trust is an important thing to ponder.  In its many definitions in my O.E.D., it seems to come down to an act of faith.  We rely on something or someone based on our perception of their history of being consistently who we think they are, or doing what they say they will do.

  So we might just ask, how does trusting strengthen or reinforce us? Well we might better understand the importance of it when we look at any relationship in our life that was without it.  Broken, lost, dark, separated, pain, these are the words that come to me when I think about those losses of trust.

  treysta  to strengthen, reinforce
Where is trust residing in me?  What does that place look like?  Is it a small cubbyhole in the back of my mental processes?  Or is it a ballroom sized place that has room and interest in all I bring to it.  What happens when we trust?  How does that feel?

I find I love thinking about TRUST.  It brings me to a place of nothingness, like meditation.  Try it again and find the place that it resides in you...   Like the child in this photo, there is nothing holding her up as she flies into the man's arms..  Nothing.        There is a weightlessness to the act of trusting.  A letting go.  A willingness to let the world catch you.  I love that place.

I believe that in all living relationships, there is room for that energy.                                                                          I believe within all of us there is room for that sense, that choice, that act of...................................................
Letting GO.

It is not always easy to find ourselves there. It is easier, of course to hold our cynicism in front of us, shielding us from the pain of disappointment or loss, but there is loss BEHIND that barrier as well as in front of it.   So  I ask you, just for today, to find someone, or something you are fond enough of, to try to rest in.....


Yep, that's what I have today.  Oh yea, and while you are thinking about it, take a walk today too!

                                     Blessing be in your heart.     Misty  November 30, 2014

Friday, November 21, 2014


As we seemingly fly into this year's holiday season, some with snow outside, some with blessed rain, and some on a beach, it is a good time to be still for moment.  

How do you want to feel come January?  

Happy?  Satisfied?  Filled up with good memories?  Surrounded by some sweet love?

Yep, me too!

So how does one go about creating this experience?  My clients and friends have always kidded me about MISTY"S RULES..... whether it be about dating or sobriety or getting through a stressful time. I guess I like sifting through the mechanics of things and finding an axiom, a story or a way of holding onto an idea that serves us.  That gives us a better shot at actually doing the new behavior..

So here is MISTY'S RULE #???  for getting to January in good shape: TWO PLUS ONE EQUALS HAPPY!!!!

This exercise is about A LOT OF THINGS:  
surviving the holidays with a happier heart
     doing a little  brain training, 
serving either the planet, the community, the family or friends, 
     or nurturing the same,
getting good at being grateful, 
     learning to focus outside of ourselves       AND
                                                                        just maybe acknowledging that we are part of worlds created than the sphere in which we are daily focused.


What does that mean?  Well TWO PLUS ONE   is three right?  So the practice is about choosing one
                                                   from each of three lists:

 The first is ACTION, the second is WORDS, and the third is GRATITUDE.

So for ACTION, it simply means to do one small act of kindness or assistance or service to one of the following groups:  my world, my community, my family or simply the human in front of me.

This could be as small as picking up one piece of trash from the street, or opening the door for someone.  It could be grand, a financial donation to PBS, or RED CROSS, DOCTORS WITHOUT BORDERS, or your church.  It could be anonymous or personal,  a secret Santa or cleaning someones house.    ONE generous ACTION, EVERY DAY.

The second is WORDS.    Finding a kind WORD for at least one person every day..  Not just Hello, although acknowledging people is a wonderful thing, but actually saying "Hey you are good at this!"  or "You know I just love this about you...."  Or "You look lovely today, what a treat for me!"  It is surprising how few times we actually compliment the people in our families and in our work, or even in the stores or restaurants that we visit.  Your words are your wealth.  You can give away all of them every day and still have plenty for tomorrow.  And believe me, what you get back from this act is in size far greater than what you will leave behind you.  So one complete sentence of admiration or gratitude for not just WHAT people do, but WHO people are..  Ok so: 


And the last piece is GRATITUDE.  This involves is saying  OUT LOUD  to yourself, once a day....."Thank you for........"  Yep, something you are grateful for in your life.   Today it could be your job, or your health or your favorite purple toothbrush,  or your favorite TV show, or a good bowl of soup, or your partner, your kids, your garage, your dog, or the sunset... so #3 is:


So let's review  TWO PLUS ONE EQUALS HAPPY  means:

                    1 OUT LOUD VOICING OF GRATITUDE.

Can you do it every day?  Well maybe, or maybe you will use the coming 42 days UNTIL JANUARY 1ST to get better and better at it.   Make a habit of reviewing your list as you brush your teeth in the morning or just as you turn your light out for the day.  Think about who you will see today and make a commitment to speak to them. Or at night,note what you missed and what you could try tomorrow, or the person to whom you would like to especially speak with tomorrow.   And of course EVERY DAY you can do your out loud thank you.    You could start right now!


So remember MISTY'S RULE:  


                                                                         And don't forget the critters!!

Misty Wycoff November 21, 2014

Saturday, November 15, 2014


I came across the phrase recently: INHABITING MEMORY.  I found it evocative.

The verb inhabit comes from the Old French enhabiter, meaning “dwell in.” 

Do we live in memory?   Are this places dense and peopled? 

Crowded, unkempt or solitary and ordered?

There may be value in taking a moment to see where we spend so much time. I mean since we live in memory, someone should be home, right?

Do we choose which of our memories to inhabit?  Is it like a village of memories?  The good ones live in the big, bright, shiny houses and the scary ones live down the road in the shabbier side of town?

Are we the mayor?  How do we manage our town of memory?  Do we have a city council selected from each part?  Or just the ones that vote?  Maybe we hold town meetings where everyone has a voice.

If this is a place of memory, and it is only memory and I spend all my time there, how do I create new memories?  Can I leave town?  Is this home?  If so, do I carry it with me into the present and if I do, how does that flavor my experience today?

Might be a good thing to spend some time today thinking about your little city of the past.  What are you carrying around inside of you, and how does that touch your TODAY?

What can we do with those memory places that we inhabit that are difficult?  How does one clean up the inner village?  Can they be shifted by cleaning up the property, hauling away the trash and planting a garden?  

Maybe the place needs to be taken apart, piece by piece and used to rebuild another place, one that brings rest rather than nightmares?

It will not happen in our lifetime if we ignore the place...maybe over generations our genetics will erase the images, but for NOW, for ME, for THE WORLD, take a CONSCIOUS walk down these streets.  

Look carefully, and see out of those eyes that know more, have found the wiser, kinder path.   Bring a trash bag, a good crowbar 

and a pocketful of seed.


 Let's call this 

SUB- Urban- Renewal  !!!

Now come back to NOW, and feel the new space your have created to BREATHE, SEE and ENJOY the day.

Blessings all over you.    Misty        
15 November  2014

Saturday, November 8, 2014


I was walking along the bluff near my house last weekend and I suddenly spied a deep wide stub of a rainbow.  Evidently just the thick bottom of one that vanished just above the water.  It played with me for the hour I was out there.  Arching up and over the water, eventually I could see the other end of it, out along the horizon.   I was able to see it's shadow hoop as well, lying just above the original presumed light.
They always seem like miracles to me.  You too?  I do understand the science of refracted light but even with this knowledge there is something that jiggles my heart and delights me.

Whenever I see a rainbow I can't help but wonder what the native people of the earth thought and felt when they appeared.  They couldn't have know the logical, reasonableness of the phenomenon.  They could only have the heart skipping feeling I have, but without the dampening rationale.

Do you have events, places, animate beings, or symbols that have this flavor, this persistence of wonder?

Maybe today is a good day to look for one.

                                            Blessings,  Misty Wycoff, November 8, 2014