FINDING THE THIRD VOICE

A friend recently sent me a link to an article from the New York Times.  It was an interesting piece on diversity.  It was more specifically about how colleges could do more to create and encourages dialogs about diversity.  I have included the link for those that might want to read the whole piece.  It is  certainly worth your time.

http://mobile.nytimes.com/2014/09/07/opinion/sunday/frank-bruni-demanding-more-from-college.html


The article points out that colleges encourage people to find their own groups...like seeking like:   botanists finding other botanists, engineers finding other engineers, republicans....republicans, dog lovers......dog lovers, etc.

It is certainly understandable that we enjoy people with similar interests, points of view, lifestyles.  But the article makes the point that it doesn't exactly open our minds to other viewpoints, encourage diversity within our own circles, or ways of thinking.  In my last blog I was talking about how we seem to have lost the ability or interest in dialoging with anyone with a differing point of view.  Instead the trend seems to be to just try and make anyone who doesn't agree with us look stupid, or just wrong.

Although I promise that this is not becoming the central theme of these blog pieces, I did think we might just go one step further in this particular exploration.  Let's do a bit a self examination here.  I spoke last time about the idea that if we are not part of the solution, we are part of the problem, a cultural construct from the 60's counter culture.  The question now is how often do we allow ourselves to even entertain another perspective.  And if we do, how do we respond to it, and further how often do we engage in dialogs in these areas?  

The New York Times article encourages the practice of students deleting 4 of their current bookmarks and adding 4 from other viewpoints and perspectives.   Would you consider this?  Why?  Why not?   I am not suggesting that you make yourself miserable with engaging for long periods with people or groups that make you sad or scare you, but this is really an exercise in listening...This may seem to be mostly about politics, but this idea has relevance in relationships as well.

How often do we really LISTEN to our families, spouses, children, parents when their views are diametrically opposed to our own.  Can you listen?  Can you sit for a moment in their shoes?  Can you engage the problem that they are stating from their perspective and seek solutions relative to their needs?

Check yourself:

How often do you LISTEN to any views besides one's that reflect your own opinions?

What happens to your voice, your words, your emotions when you do?

If world cultures settle disputes the way that we do personally, would there be a world full of war or peace?   



It is time in our culture to really look at our own behavior in this area.  Again, another quote from the 60's:  "Be the change you want in the world".  In your relationships, as in community, political, religious or social areas, can you really SEE the other person's perspective and can you honor it, respect it and find a way to live  so that each of you can feel good.  

I have talked before about WIN WIN situations.   Take this as a reminder to look for more of those in your life.  Move beyond the duality of right/wrong good/bad and find the THIRD ANSWER.  Think about what that might mean...

Keywords:  LISTEN, ENTERTAIN NEW AND DIVERSE IDEAS, ENGAGE WITH THEM AND LOOK FOR THE BRIDGES AND COMMONALITY THAT CAN BRING RESPECT AND PEACE.




A world of blessings to your hearts.  Misty,  9/12/14