THE INESCAPABLE DISAPPOINTMENT OF INTIMACY

Been a busy month for books. 

I recently came across the phrase:  “The inescapable disappointment of intimacy”  It was in Elizabeth Gilbert’s newest book called Committed, A Skeptic Makes Peace With Marriage.  After her Eat, Pray, Love book, she goes on happily in her life with the Brazilian man she met in Bali.  Two years later there are problems when he is refused entry into the United States.  Both their relationship and his import business are interrupted by this challenge by Homeland Security.  This book is not only the story of their year, or more, of going through the channels to become legally affianced, and for him to be allowed back into the USA so they can be married, but she has also researched the whole marriage, relationship history from sociological, religious and personal perspectives.

It is interesting, charming, riveting and funny.  By contemplating her own life and doing her research she has once again allowed an opening for the rest of us to benefit from her life path.  In Eat, Pray Love  we were able to see the end of her marriage.  This was a journey of self, that led her to a deeper understanding of her own sensuality, spirituality and centeredness.  Continuing along her path, she leads again to places where we have all traveled, but pulls us into a deeper look at our own journey and our consciousness.  It helps us  to look at intimacy, relationship and marriage and commitment.

The phrase “the inescapable disappointment of intimacy” has ridden around in the back of my head for a few weeks now.  It seems that all my conversations with clients and friends, all things read on the topic and all relevant movies, have been the mirror upon which I reflected and considered these things.

Isn’t it true that at some level we have all been disappointed by intimacy?  Given some of the perspectives of her book, I have wondered why.  What expectations do we have of our love relationships or even our friendships?  Are these ideas, historically, religiously, or culturally instilled?  Or is it a more fundamental question, where we try and fulfill our need for spiritual connection in our relationships to other humans?  

What I do know is that having read the book I felt more at ease, my perspective opened up, my understanding deepened, and I felt more free regarding this topic.  Whether you are in a relationship or looking for one, or even recovering from one, I do believe you will enjoy and be informed in subtle and obvious ways about who you are what it means to be committed to someone in relationship.  It will give you an opportunity to see where you lie on this continuum of understanding.

So, for today, I recommend a book.  A good book, a fun book, and a smart book that brings a little fresh air into an area that is so laden with expectation, history and sociological meaning.  I downloaded it in digital from from the library and listened to it.  Nice!

Til next time......Misty